20 May, 1998

It all started back in the late fifties when ol' Ike Eisenhower was el presidente. They didn't have any interns in those days. They just had whores. Well, ol' Mr. Eisenhower was gretting pretty ticked off at them frickin' Vietnamese. They built a giant ape robot that went around crushing fish canneries and churches. It's name was Vietcong. It used guerrilla warfare because it was a big gorilla. The Americans wanted to kill it, but every time they tried, it just ran into the bushes and threw spit wads at them. This pissed them off so they started shooting people in villages until it came out, which was stupid because Vietcong would've crushed the villages anyway. Well, later, Kennedy became president and he make there be two Vietnams. The South Vietnamese folk were cool, but the North Vietnamese were big Touchas Leckers. They used their monkey to kill everybody until the seventies when everybody was so high, they just stopped caring about that damn Vietcong.